skyxican's journey

=(

2009-10-23T03:27:00.000-07:00

It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up

Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me

And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time

2009-06-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

i saw this on the net. LOL.

i tHInk i lOve u dad..

2009-04-01T07:08:00.000-07:00

DAD

I hate the way he’s always right
He always starts some useless fight
He never sees from my point of view
He’s so mean what should I do?
Why can’t he ever just do something for me?
I try my best
and all he can say Is you could do better just work all day
It’s not fair to me at all
Why am I always the one who’s mistaken?
I don’t see a reason for you to be forgiven
You don’t give a shit about me or my friends
If I start to win the fight,
we start all again
I’m always wrong and your always right
No matter problems,
no matter fights
It’s up to you,
not to me
Fighting and arguing is all we’ll ever be
Why can’t you just see what I’m going through
The stories I tell,
they are all based on true
But it makes no difference to u dad...

words that keep me going

2009-03-19T09:52:00.001-07:00

***when i get tired and want to stop i'd wonder what my next opponent was doing, i wonder if he was still working out, i try to visualise him, when could still see him working out, i will start pushing myself. and when i could see him quit.i push myself even harder!!!*****

*****abillity is what ur cabaple of doing
Motivtion determines what you do
attitude determine how well you do it*******

********i do it because i can
i can because i want to
i want to because you said i couldnt.*******

********the greatest mistake u make is fearing that u'll make one******

*******excuses are the nails to build the house of failure*******

********what lies behing us or what lies before us are just tiny matters.what matter is what lieswithin us****************

suprise frm baby

2009-03-15T06:16:00.000-07:00

always have been motivating me..giving me moral support in my goals and life.i'll prove to her i will do it.wont let u down baby...

target

2009-03-01T05:50:00.000-08:00

only sweat + hardwork will get me this.

***target age 25***
5 years to go....insyallah!

starting of comp

2009-02-22T02:10:00.000-08:00

im not sure if i can keep this up when school reopen.i hope so...diet plan gone well.still following. so im posting my starting stats.

forearm- 11.5''
arm -12.5''
shoulder-17''
chest- 37''
waist-30''
bodyfats-7.6%
weight- 67kg

cant wait to post results onwards...hope im doing some progress.cross my fingers.

long term Goals

-bodyfats of 4%
-benchpress 50-50
-dumbell shoulder press 26-26
-defination and lean

short term goals
-dumbell shoulder press 18-18(without support)
- dumbell benchpress 20 -20(without support)

sleeping pig?nah...i guess not

2009-02-20T03:24:00.001-08:00

i've figure out lately why i used to sleep alot...9 hours, 10 hours...damn! i tot im becaming lazy but hey,....i've found this article...check it out

****I just cannot stress enough the importance of sleep. Especially if you are not a full time bodybuilder, rest is doubly as important because you are constantly moving around and also using up more calories than someone that stays at home all day and the only time he goes out is to the gym where he works out.
Sleep is where you can build muscle. Without sleep, all the hard work in the gym will go down the drain. Because muscle is not built when you are pumping iron in the gym or when you are squeezing in a last rep for your squat. To efficiently and effectively take advantage of all your hard work in the gym, you must sleep 10 hours if possible.****

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/topicoftheweek59.htm

i also intend to buy this new supplement. i read abt it.heard abt it.now i wanna try it.annyone wanna share???heeeeee

***Try to get Optimum's Whey Protein powder. They not only have an incredible tasting protein powder, they are also extremely absorbent in the body which makes it a perfect nutritional drink after your workout.
Whey protein is absorbed and utilized by the body very quickly; which is exactly the effect you should be looking for in a post workout meal.****

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/topicoftheweek59.htm

my motivation!!!

2009-02-14T10:27:00.001-08:00

u shud have seen the way he work out...he never give up. he work all the way..damn man.seeing him work out makes me motivated..especially the rep to failure.oh..and of course not forgetting my other motivation..that is my girl..hehehe

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jberry.htm

my goal aka dreams

2009-02-14T08:56:00.000-08:00

dreams will be reality

2009-02-12T12:35:00.000-08:00

a piece of my mind

2009-01-30T00:36:00.002-08:00

suddenly got this in my mind...enjoy!

nothing related to me..just a piece of sumthing frm my mind.hhe

its over and i dont even know why

when i read "we're done"i fell back and started to cry

my heart broke

she never will noe how much it really hurt

i feel like someone just came and slit my throat

i cant do anything right

im mad and sad and stupid

and i cant even bare to live on for another night

i feel like my heart has died away

there is no more purpose if i was to go or if i was to stay

you fussed and said "guys are all jerks and only girls face heartache"

well news flash it was my heart that did break

now i have to go in for more therapy

i cant even go to skool

i am no longer happy

the worst part about it is i dont even know why or what i did

all i know is she hates me now and i feel so stupid

this heartbreak hurts a ton

it feels like im walking in the dark

but this time there next to me stands no one

i just walk alone

heart left in the dirt

knowing she is gone

crying and trying to cope with this hurt

what am i to do to prove i gave my heart

i gave it all

i do love you.....

i sit and cry all night and day feeling so stupid

as i let my heart remains rot and decay

that night

2009-01-27T20:56:00.000-08:00

It's the middle of the night and I was thinking about you, as usual. I want you to know how much I sincerely love the countless hours we spend talking. It means so much to me. It truly seems like I've known you forever and I honestly can't imagine life without you now. There will be no looking back, no second thoughts and no regrets. I love you and only you ... and that love will only grow stronger. Sometimes life hits you with unexpected things that take you totally by surprise. All I can say is you're the best surprise life has given me and your capacity for love, caring, and understanding never ceases to amaze me. I've truly been blessed by finding you and I'll never let you go.

grandma

2009-01-11T07:04:00.000-08:00

its been a week i had. actually i plan to start working back starting from this week....then got news that i got replace from my fyp team for the 2nd time..damn!! well...thts not bad afterall..new team, new fwens and new people to work with. adaptation dude...=)

the worse part was receiving the news that my grandma pass away..='(...i didnt know what to do upon hearing that. my feeling was neutral. but slowly the sadness and the pain came in..i told myself..teach myself how to control my emotion. well it is sad of course. but controling emotion..dawg! dun mention it.

when i reach rumah nenek, i didnt actually see her straight. i dunoe if i can take it..so i chilleks at mak long's place( the next door hse).after maghrib than i read some prayers for her and have a look at her face. she died in peace i must say.

the next tragedy was the next 4 days upon my grandma death..baby's grandma pass away..i was like..is this a season of grandma passing away..-.-....she was really down. furthermore now she is staying at her hse..gosh..imagine tht bond they have..she called me and telling me she cant get over it.damn i understnad tht . hearing her cry make me wanna cry....the way she sae her grandma took care of her while she was young and the last moment shared. i began to think about my grandma too. but i have to control it. cant be both is crying ryte?

i was fortunate to have dinner wit her grandma once.that time with maksu and salihin..that was when i help out when her grandma rent the hse to someone. i was didnt want to go in the hse actually. but the only sentence she said to me was.."masok la kamil..ni rumah nenek,tkmu takot2"....memories left nw...

baby and me are busy nowadays with the deaths of our grandma..

im so gonna top up my fone tmr...so that at least she can contact me...although she have been really understanding and loving these few days..when i say tht i mean extreme Tender Loving Care....i feel that i shudnt just let it be like that.should not take for granted.=)

last word..stay strong baby...im feeling what ur feeling.i couldnt take it as well..just puting up a bold front.take care love.

why tht feeling came back..

2008-12-24T08:49:00.000-08:00

A phrasing that's a single tear,
Is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone.
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore.

talent

2008-12-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

today is my anni wit baby..but we oni meet for less than 1 min..just to return her Hp. yea yea..i know its hari raye haji and she's bz wit her stuff helping mom.thats bad. but worse of all something happen to my grandma. damN...just came back frm prayers and got to found out that she have no respond to anything but still breathing. for the fact that she's still breathing i thank god. can u imagine losing someone on the first day of raye??gosh!

so the day's been bz. try to call her...and again she's bz..yea im bz too.so understand. then the next call she was remind me to do her poster..gosh..patience my gerl.i'll get everything done.

ard afternoon i have to go to my aunt's place to represent my parents cos they have to take care of grandma.but i only stay for a short while bcos i have to be back to do her poster..shaoots!.its okie..love sake. and i have to go back home to choose the color for my bedroom..ARRGGHH!!!!ruuning here and there..hmmmm. intend to choose red..but after furhter tot..i have something in mind..hehe..so i took rose petal.(close to white)..hehe..dude.dun ask me why i choose tht..just imagine..the living room is purple, my sister room is blue. the kitchen is yellow and my dad's bedroom is green.GOSH!!!! we need pure color man..white.hehe.

anyways...so i rush back home and do her poster..im suppose to end it by 9 but ops..i send it over at 10.30..
did some ammendments and walla!! its done..i wish she know what im feeling..but we've been bz..its okie..doesnt hurt keeping to myslef.,=)

HOWS THIS??????

family bonding???aha

2008-11-30T01:10:00.000-08:00

i had a fun time wit my gerl..today we went escape theme park wit mak busu,dhai,suhaila and of course my baby..

due to lost Hp, we had a hard time contacting each other.so the initial plan was to meet at 2. then after a delay its at 4. so i meet aisha at under her grandma's void deck...y00hooooo..really miss her.aha.

so we proceed to her grandma's place to meet dhai and mak busu. after that meet suhaila and off to escape...y00hoooooooooooo!

our first ride was the haunted house..damn!that was my first time going in there..aisha was really brave i must say..she even have the cheek to scare me.damn..luckt i didnt make a fool out of myself in front of her fam..

next ride..the pirate ship..maksu scared!!!!hahahah....cant believe it.she looks tuff but hati lembut rupenye..hehe..what an appalled ride after all.

so after that we went to the wet and wild. initially i didnt want to ride that cos seriously im gonna get wet.literally wet! after this cute gerl show me her cloying smile with a pretty please sealed with a kiss on my lips..how can i say no to tht.aha..so she sit in front and i sit at the back...i tell u damN fuck..im really wet after the ride..didnt bring extra clothes..aha..but i really enjoy this..

go cart was fantastic...AISHA!!!!!!!I HATE U!!!!!!!u freaking take over me..u won me!!!damn..lost to ur own gerl...lost dignity...damn.so ranking goes...dhai,aisha,me,maksu,suhaila...anyway..im lucky cos 3 is her favourite number,,,aha.cool moon.

after the go cart..we went on a romantic ride..aha..its suppose to be trilling but somehow aisha and me find it soooo romantic..Lol..duN ask me y.aha.

then after that we go meet andak and had our dinner at kfc..and off to tamp we go off.

PS: sorry baby if i make u angry..admit it...both of us have a fucking huge ego. and thats the reason y we fight most of the time bcos nk tengok sape lagi hebat..hehe. my fault k...sowie..
pleash forgive me syg..**puppy eyes**

musical hoodie

2008-10-25T20:26:00.000-07:00

after a long search..fuh!!!i finally found one..pre order is made. its really tough to find this musical red hoodie. only god know what i've been through. firstly go to bugis..all the shop that sell hoodie told me that the red musical hoddie was sold out.darn!!!freaking disppointed. go to penin..and yes..its again sold out. they told me its no longer in produciton because its last season product.but my baby still want it. i bought for her a different hoodie but she ''majok'' wit me instead. so when i go to all the shops asking for it..shoots!!they tot that im a very petty costumer. oh well......

then i went to this shop...i was really really happy when i saw the musical hoodie...and its like walla!!!!!!the display is black..and my gerl want the red. so i ask them...and they told me its out of stock...AAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!#$@%@$^#$%@$.....fuck!

but its ok...lots of time was spend searching for that hoodie that mu baby want...finally i got it..strike off the list nw..>.-

sweet dedication to me.

2008-10-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

there's my babyblush..dedicating a song for me...weeeee~~
sweet ryte?!?!!hehe
talent owned!
was too tired uh??but can still play guitar..-.-..@#^%$%^
luckily she's quick to make it up by going out with me tmr after sch..Lol.=)

priceless part 2

2008-10-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

~sweet looks of my baby~
CUTENESS!!!!!!!!!

Otw to sky dinning
sky dinning sapphire set menu
afraid of heights??!

thats us..

weee~
hands~~~ hands~~~

adjustment

2008-10-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

the last time im on diet i freaking lost 5 kg..shit!!! got comment tht i look small.damn!!!shudnt be that way..thats not what i wanted. so i adjust my diet plan accordingly. i think the reason why my body become smaller is bcos i duN have enough carbo intake. so its like this now. i follow my school break period as my eating period.

9.30am-1 cup of oatmeal
- 2 egg white
- 2 cups of ice water

11.30am- 1 oatbar(soyjoy)
- 100g of bread
- 1 tin tuna
- 1 cup of milk
- 1 cup of ice water

5.00pm- half rice + chicken breast
- 2 cup of ice water

8.00pm- apple/fruits
- 1 cup of ice water
- 1 cup of hot milk

hope it works this time...=)
advise needed thnx..

-priceless-

2008-10-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

was planning it all these while..yoooohoooo!! at last its a success. she was indeed suprise. i brought her to sky dinning on the 8th of October for our monthly anniversary. the day b4 she kept asking where are we going. i told her its just gonna be a normal outing. movie..dinner..thats it...she was like..just another outing...LOL!!

so we took the cab there as it was rainning.she was wearing this blue dress..^^ with a cardigen on...(>.-)..fetish.lol. i told her we are goin to vivo..but in the cab i told the uncle harbourfront centre. there she goes asking me a lot of question. somehow i got away with it..

when we reach the place, i walk towards harbourfront tower 2 for the sky dinning. and there she goes again..asking why am i walking to this direction.its suppose to b the other way.what the hell am i doing..well,i just kept quiet through out. then when we reach at the 15th floor of the tower two, with her BIG EGO she said " so ur bringing me to sentosa..haha i know from the start."i smile silently inside. then when one of the staff ask me am i here for the sky dinning. the expression on her face is PRICELESS!!!!!!that's an expression which all guys want to see on their gerl...damN sHioK!i was still talking to the staff when she jump on me and hug me very tightly...the staff just smile looking at her behaviour . sweet i say.it was a long hug tho. the staff had a long pause before asking me further question. so when everything is settled we have to wait a while. cam whore awhile and i recieve countless of hUgs and kisses!!>.<

so when its time for us to ride she got really excited. freaking excited. ermm... embarrassing to say that im excited too cos its my first time on cable car..HAHAHAHAH!!fuck u la kamil..damn paiseh lor...but try not to show her la..kekeke.

about the ride, its a 2 hours ride. it consist of 3 round. one round take around 40 mins. 1st round its the soup, then second round is the main course, 3rd round is the dessert. so the first round was really really nice. the sunset and us..sweet notings all over..love was in the air. took some pics and video..her behaviour and happiness during the ride was extremely priceless.
then the second round was our main course. its nice tho..i had chicken while she had fish..i dUN really know whats the dish..i'll upload the pics later..Lol. so after eating we spend time together in each others arm...aaaaaahhhh.thats life for me..then the third round, she felt giddy alittle. cos its eating on a cable car and its not very stable. i think she;s air sick..aha. so the 3rd round we cHIlleks. oh ya..and the apple crumble was superb nice!ORGSM!!initially i wanted to bring her to the musical fountain after the ride but it was drizzling so plan B.=)

so after the memoriable ride, we head to vivo to catch a movie.she always wanted to watch house bunny. so house bunny it was..aha. funny and nice=).so after the movie we chilleks first at the open area at vivo..then head home. the weird thing abt the ride on the taxi is when we go its $25.40 but when we're goin home..plus the midnight charge.its only $18.70..hmmmmm..nvm la.

when we reached home,she call me and we talk the whole night..she was really happy and touched. sweet notings all night loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggg..........................

slept at 5..then never go to sch the next day..ooopsss.=x

and i would like to thanks my special ones who make this day a possible day for my girl and i..
i really appreciate it...credit goes to:

******UM-yantio***
******UM -petir****
******Zahid*******
******Fadilah******

and of course my*********** lovely babyblush********

waiting at her school

2008-09-19T00:41:00.000-07:00

sleepy and boring.have been waiting for her from 11.30 till nw...4. i understand she have project to do and stuff.the reason y i agree to wait for her is because she told me she it will be very brief and fast. by 2 she can go home.latest is 3. but now its nearly 4. im really sleepy and tired. if she's in my shoe i tell u.. its world war already.she will keep on complaining and complaining. i was hoping that if we go home at 3 maybe b4 going to work i can take a nap or something but now i think nap is cancel. not been getting enuf sleep lately. sacrifice for commitment in the relationship. after school go work..then after work have to call her until she is sleepy. too bad for me that this week is her school holidays. so she will only be sleepy ard 2 to 3 am. and worse still its fasting month. i have to wake up to eat 5. so roughly i get only 2 hours of sleep everyday and the next day school start again and the whole cycle repeat....commitment kamil!!!!!!!!!!

so the list of things i've done today is send her to sch, wait for her to finish project
, send her home then go to work. do i have a life??all i can say is everything i do in my life now is all about her. just look at things i've done today. i dunno if she will appreciate this forever. i mean girls will usually appreciate this for only a short period of time. as time goes by they want more and forget abt it.aha

btw as i was waiting for her i found this..check it out.reasons why girl cheat on guys..aha

Intoxication:We all feel sorry for this girl. She goes out to a party, gets drunk, high, stoned, you name it, her and her boyfriend have a fight that night and she goes out is taken advantage of in her situation. There is always a guy to take advantage of a girl that has just had a fight with their boyfriend. She kisses him or has sex with him when she is not in her right state of mind and when she realizes it later or the next day she feels guilty. No cheating should be condoned but I do feel bad for girls when they do this one, because when they try to explain to their boyfriend what happened, the guy either snaps and breaks up with her or cries. This is a poor excuse for cheating but this is definitely one of the most used reasons for cheating.

Lack of Interest:This happens to everyone. You’re with someone everything is great, then all of a sudden the spark between you two dies out and one party always feels guilty and doesn’t want to tell the other person they just don’t like them anymore. Instead they cheat. I’ve found that guys are usually more guilty of this one than girls, but girls do it too.

Attention:A lot of girls revel in the attention they get when they are first with a guy, every little kiss on the forehead and stupid touchy sentimental thing that the guy does for them. When the relationship wears on the attention seems to go away since you already have each other and the guy usually doesn’t feel the need to keep flattering her with presents. Well when this happens, the girl goes out and flirts with numerous guys to get the attention she feels she isn't getting from her boyfriends. She figures that since all these guys want her there is not point in being with a guy who doesn’t do this for her anymore and she cheats.

aha..cool ryte??personal conclusion i think to make a girl cheat on their guy with u is easy.like a small kids if u have sweets they are yours.=]]]] ***EVIL****

08 sepT 2008(anni)

2008-09-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

its been three days since school reopen but i have yet to see my classmate. yes i have not been attending school. darn!!!!waiting for letter to come down my hse!

so many problems in my life recently. trying so solved it one by one..starting with my love one. obviously my baby. she's in a mess ryte nw.completely confused girl. how can i leave her just like that. and furhter, anything can happen to her now. she's not kinda safe right now.so i send her to sch everyday and fetch her. and what i get from her fwen???

her fwen tell her.."eh aisha..ur guy is just like my ex..possesive"

when i heard that..i was like =.=. tell her what happen to relationship and consider that thought.aha.

niways..just now was our aniversery..y000hoooo. send her to school..along the way to school tested her on her up coming exam..LOL. dUN even ask me y!! so after that i plan to watch movie with her. she wanted to watch space chimp so badly but its not out yet.darn!then we go to E hub for the movie but the first show start at 1pm. she have to go geylang to shop of raya stuff at 2. cannot make it lor. so after a day stress in her house studying. i decide to bring her to the arcade and play. aha. she's just like a baby. happy in front of the screen.her wide smile and laughter. its been quite sometime that i've brought that out from her. really miss her bring that way.im glad im able to make her happy today. it really meant the world to me.

so at night working again..y00hoooo.madjack is family. for the fact that yan's mom is inisde. i feel like she's my mom. always giving me advise, care and concern.i js feel home. so knock off at 11pm. fuuhh! home at last.then call my baby and put her to sleep.>.-

have yet to wake up early in the morning. then school.(first day of school!!!yooh000)then gotta work again.dang! but tmr..im gonna work at 6 till closing..luckily im not schoolin on weds. but weds is GF day..hehe!

To leave its easy but to forgive is a challenge.

2008-09-04T05:13:00.000-07:00

I js love challenges in my life. And whats happening to me right now, right this minute I take it as just another obstacle in my love life. I mean every relationship have its very own problem. I have this mindset which is to leave is easier than to forgive. Obviously I will choose the a hard way because I believe when i do things the hard way I learnt something. Its called self improvement.

I have a fwen. very melancholic story. I told him about my principle I had. His problem is that he love his GF so much that he is blinded by trust and her words. Everything she said will be trust. So apparently one day, his GF cheated on him with another guy. He was really sorrowful. Devastated and feeling scourged he try to keep it to himself. He cried and cried….and cried. Nothing could stop him from crying. To find out the truth of what she did with another guy. The affection. The kiss. They shared are now being shared with another guy. And its been years in the relationship she already prove to him that she is very faithful. Trust was broken. So was his heart. And now she is pleading for him back.

He came to me and ask for some advise. Initially when I heard that, I was really furious and feel like telling him just break it off. But then again, its against my principles. So I ask him..did she tell u everything?? And she said yes.every moment . I understand how he feels. The pain and agony of being cheated!

Then I tell him that I was in a situation that I broke my parents trust b4. I know parents and relationship is different but I tHInk I’ll tell him anyway. I told him when that point of time I was rebellious. I totally lost my parent trusts. Then when they found out. They are really disappointed js like he is nw. but when it happen to me, my parents really avoid me and despise me . i felt unwanted. I really wanted to change but my parents js dUn belive me. a river wont change its course without a plank or support.. same goes for me.. im trying to change but without any support how could i. And its really hard, I just feel like going back to the old ways. But lucky for me my aunts and cousins was there when I wanted to change. and finally I leanrt from my mistake and become a better person.

How does this relate to his story. His gerl is me in my story and for my fwen. He can choose to either be my parents or be my aunt. I also list the pros and cons that I think.

Scenario 1)

What is the guy just want her body. What if the guy just want to get in her pants! From the story heard its clearly stated that the guy js laying traps for her one by one and she fall right into it. but its lucky enuf that the guy haven’t got what he wants. Only affection and kiss. So if u choose to leave her. She will have no one and will tend to go to this guy and this guy will find it more easy for him to get in her in bed! So is he gonna let this happen?

Scenario 2 )

Leave her and let her be. Since she choose and wants to be that way. Let her lose her V card to someone else. And when the person leave her. I tHInk then she’ll realize. Maybe thts her price for realization. Then she will feel remorseful and will start to think of the time she had with my fwen. And start to go back with him. So what this guy is facing later actually is he is picking up this gerl after letting her get used and fuck by another guy!!

Scenario 3) tell all of her fwen who she really is and since ur suffering like this. Make her suffer too. Then when her fwen know about this. And her reputation will jeopardize

(this scenario is crap.. trust me I was not thinking.)

Scenario 4)

I mean I am a guy and since guys have sexual needs..aha. let me be a devil for awhile. Be with her .then when everything is ok. Tell her u want to fuck her. Then make her pregnant and leave her.she will remember that for life for sure. But naH..its js another option and I know my fwen is not tht type.

So after listing down these my fwen start to think and ponder over it. after much tots and tears he say that he still love this gerl and really care for her. He choose scenario 1 and is willing to forgive her. He said he want to take care of her and dUn wan her to turn into a slut. Thts an option where most people cant do. yes its difficult to leave her js like tht but its even more difflicut to forgive. So slowly he try to forgive her. It takes time of course and it also takes patience to change someone. And I also told him that there will be more rocky journey ahead in the relationship be if ur prepared to forgive her now then be prepared for the next one. It’s the matter of how you take care of her and shape her. When I told him this,my reflection say I understand….

my Diet plan

2008-08-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

Can’t believe it that today is the first day of the fasting month. Well today is not only the first day of the fasting month it is also the first day on my diet plan. Aha. Woke up at 4.30 just now. Had a little trouble with it but motivation keep me up. Hehe. Have a quick wash up and boiled two eggs. while waiting for the egg to boiled I do my abs routine. Took about 20 mins including rest. After my workout. I get ready to ‘sahur’ my meal will be :

½ cup of oatmeal
2 egg white
1½ cup of ice water
1 cup of milk

To tell u the truth, I feel like a slave to beauty. Shit! All this stuff are tasteless. The moment I eat the oatmeal I feel like..YUCK!! but then again. For my girl and for the abs.aha..will get use to it. it’s only a day past the diet plan. The result have yet to be seen. Maybe ard 3 more weeks. Insyallah.

Yesterday night got a call from yan, informing that I’ll be working on Monday(today) , sat and sun. 6pm to 11pm.thanks bro. Y00hoooo. I dUno why but I Love the job environment there.

Cant wait to work later.=))

Got 3 miss call and a msg from my gf. I guess she took the initiative to call my Hp to know whether I have top up my hP or not.hehe..am glad. But the call was made at 2.36am. dude!! Im sleeping and my hP is away. When I read the msg it says ‘ ADE HP MCM TKDE HP’ which means got hP oso like duN have hP!!..i guess she’s pissed.aha. maybe I’ll call her later.

Im still wondering how am I gonna do my cardio during fasting month. Should I do it after my break-fast ard 8pm when im not working or at 6pm right b4 the break-fast?? Hmmmm.. advise and suggestion needed.

period of changing

2008-08-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

Im not sure where to start. Sometimes I feel that she don’t love me anymore. Asking me to change is one thing but why does she treat me like im a dirt?? Telling me off when I call her, telling me the attention I give her sucks..initially I was bz and didn’t really give her the attention she wanted and she make noise about it. telling me she feels single and lack of my attention. So when I called her everyday and give her all the attention she wanted. She push it away. I really don’t understand what’s going on here.

Then when days past I finally ask her why is she’s treating this way. And her answer was about me changing. She want me to change so that I can be her ideal guy..i was like u mean all along u accept me for who u want me to be and not who I am?ouch! tht really hurts. but I really love her. So I dUn mind changing for her. I mean whats the harm is changing to the better side. So the list goes:

1) cut my hair

2) get a HP

3) find a job

4) abs

so she was telling me if I fulfill all this list we can be like last time again. Demanding she is??aha..i have to accept her for who she is. She claims that she change a lot for me and I’ve done nothing for her. Sometimes I ponder on tht. for me or for herself. So my venture like began last week. When she say tht if I change tHIngs can be like normal.y000hoooooo! right from the next day.i go job hunting and alhamdullilah I got a job already.hehe. so strike one on the list.

So my next step is not that hard.get a Hp.so I merely got a Hp and and top up my HP.=) so that’s strike 2 on the list.

When I’ve already done this two, without fail I call her everyday not wanting her to feel that lack of attention from me. But the same thing happen over and over again. She keep on pushing me away and saying stuff that really pierce my heart. I didn’t retaliate but js keep quiet cos I know if I retaliate things are gonna get ugly. So I duN bother.gyea..i noe ppl sae im stupid but the thing is I really love her.

Then finally cut my hair. U noe its been two years we’re in a relationship she never like the way I cut my hair. Different methods and way I’ve tried but she js dun like it in anyway. I ask her then how to cut my hair..guess whats her ans?? “ I dUnno” haha!!!

So nevermind. And there goes strike 3 on the list.

After all I’ve done this. I didn’t tell her that I’ve change. I only give hints to her. Well I mean u dUn expect me to tell.. “hey baby.i;ve change!!!” . I prefer her to find out herself . so on the the day I’ve done the strike 3 on the list I call her. Then there she goes again treating me like im a dirt from a shit. This time I feel like hey I’ve done sumthing so duN I deserve a better way of treatment. So I give her a piece of my mind. I tell her why are u treating me like this .her reason is still the same. Ur at a period of changing. Then I was like so!! Then she cant seems to answer that. Then she side track the question to ur not my ideal guy and im changing u to being one. I was really really hurt again. I dun understand. If im not her ideal guy. Why duN she js break up with me? She leave me hanging. Then I told her what if I told u I’ve change and do all the tHings u’ve ask me to do. Then dUN tell me u would suddenly change and say oH kamil..i love u..and began to treat me like last time..then she ask me do u have abs already?? DAMN!!!!! To have abs u need at least 8 weeks of cardio and workout. Tell me I have to wait for 8 weeks.o.0

Then I was talking to her about that, then she purposely put me on hold. Then when I call her back.she didn’t pick up the fone. Well..my purpose for the call is to make her ponder on what I said. So mission accomplish! =)

So for nw..i have abs to concentrate on..aha..

Routines goes like this

Crunches 3 sets of 30,30,40

Leg raise 3 sets of 30,30,30

oblique crunches 3 sets of 30,30,30

Dumbbell side bent 3 sets of 40,40,40

Planks 1 min 30 sec for 3 sets

Side bridge 1min 30sec 3 sets

Cardio 3 times a week treadmill of 30 mins each day

Diet is being supervise..hehe

Tho I have all these I think its kinda easy for abit..cos fasting month is coming..so I tHInk I’ll concentrate on cardio and abs only.=)

Wish me luck for my relationship!!!!!!!!!